Venting my spleen

Top 10 things I hate about travelling on London buses…

10. People who eat yummy smelling food on the bus when you are pissed and are gagging for a bite yourself

9. Getting on a bus that clearly hasn’t been cleaned from the night/day before and therefore have to sit amidst a pile of orange peel/nuts and bolts/empty beer cans/plastic bags (all from personal experiences)

8. Getting on a bus where someone has thrown a can on the ground, which is now rolling around and making that annoying rolling can sound, but no one who is close to it will pick it up therefore you have to walk from the other end of the bus to do it yourself

7. Crazy people on the bus that start preaching about god/burping deliberately loud/singing/impersonating a police officer/screeching/singing loudly and very badly to themselves (all based on personal experiences)

6. Bus drivers that only know how to accelerate and break extra extra extra hard

5. Bus drivers that just go far too slow

4. You are standing up holding on for dear life as the bus is packed, when someone decides that they are going to get up out of their seat and begin to manoeuvre themselves towards the exit about thirteen million hours before their stop. (bit of an exaggeration, but why get up and unbalance the people standing who are struggling anyway just so you can stand by the door and wait ages to the next stop??). And note they are usually carrying backpacks/shopping bags.

3. People who just push in blatantly in the queue- especially into that little bit of space that you leave in front of you so your not squished into the person in front. (ie they have no concept of personal space)

2. People who just push in blatantly in the queue- especially into that little bit of space that you leave in front of you so your not squished into the person in front. (ie they have no concept of personal space) AND start fiddling around in their pockets for change therefore holding everyone else up

AND NUMBER 1....

1. Feckin’ school girls with their feckin’ mobile phones playing feckin’ Beyonce feckin’ loud so that the whole bloody bus can hear the whiney drivel emanating from the latest Nokia whatever. No one wants to hear your shit music blaring out of your phone. The stink thing is that they probably carry knives and will stab you if you should even dare ask them to turn it down/off.