Ha!

What a surprise- I note this morning that Catherine is looking to employ more young naive ecologists because she is such a crap boss that she can't retain staff..... heres my interpretation ( in [brackets]) from the job excerpt from environment jobs .co. uk..........

Enthusiastic [of course you are at first], highly motivated [you are gunna have to be considering you will be expected to work 50 plus weeks and not get paid overtime], ecologists invited to join immediately busy [busy because her staff are dropping like flies and she has never properly replaced on of her senior members of staff and she spends most of her time on the phone] London based environmental consultancy specialising in ecology and working throughout the UK. Recent projects include ecological assessments for a range of developments, mitigation and enhancement works on site including for protected species [lizard catching fun!], ecological monitoring [you will be generally working alone in dodgy places as she likes to skimp on money and not have safe working conditions by having only one member of staff on some sites], management plans, policy research, agri-environment scheme monitoring, and public open/green space.

Skills to include; working practical knowledge of UK habitats and associated conservation issues including management, impact assessment, policy, legislation; identification of British flora; data base management/statistical analysis; IT and communication and administrative skills [Working on crappy old computers in a crappy overcrowded paperwork overflowing hot office with Catherine barking orders at you every five seconds].

Specialist knowledge of other Groups and protected species (in particular herpetofauna and/or bat), and herpetofauna relocation an advantage as would some practical conservation management work. At least a good degree in applied ecology/ environmental/biological sciences preferably with a relevant post graduate qualification. Current UK driving licence essential [Although she might not always pay you for petrol if its easier for you to get to site by train, even if its more convienient for you just so she can save money].

Salary based on qualifications and experience [ha regardless your pay is going to be absolute shite and you will never expect to be paid on time with the correct ammount. Also expect to be paid by cheque so you will have an agonising wait for an extra 5 days when you are absolutely skint]


Im not a bit bitter/scarred for life after working for her am I????